Our Happy, Clucky, Pukey Easter

Easter came and went too fast this year! It always throws me off when Easter falls in March, and I had never understood until this year, why Easter changes so much. Thanks to my very smart friend, Julianne, I now know why Easter is when it is. It is the first Sunday after the first full moon, after the Spring Equinox, (or the First Day of Spring for those like me who didn't know the word Equinox meant.) Wow, I feel so much smarter this year, thanks for educating me Julianne!

We were excited for our annual Robison cousin Easter Egg Hunt on Saturday at Jeff & Crystal's, they are so gracious to host us and let us all enjoy their beautiful yard.  I was especially excited for Jens to really discover all the fun of Easter Egg Hunting this year, Ryan was ready with the video camera and I was ready with the camera to capture all of his excitement when we let him loose and he discovered eggs filled with candy were his for the taking.  We corral all the kids in the house and then let them out into the backyard, littlest kids getting a head start, he came running out... and went straight for the basketball!  Should have known.  As soon as he saw the ball, he put down his bucket and didn't give it another thought.  This kid loves balls.  Then he moved on to the chickens and there was no competing with that.  I kept trying to coax him into coming along to find the candy, but the chickens were much more interesting.

While he was doing this.... 

I was

Pierce & Madi were doing this....

We finally persuaded him to find one egg.

 And then it was back to visit the chickens.  These turned out to be my very favorite pictures of the day.  Love this boy so much. 

All the cousins!  Well, all those in attendance.
Ira, Ellie, Davis, Danielle, Brock,
Brooke, Calli, Kelton, Matthew, Logan, Jens, Pierce,
Lily, Madi, Bridger, Thatcher, Dallen, Harrison and Graci
We are so lucky to have such fun cousins, we love playing with them!

The fun kept going and we were lucky to have Aunt Crystal get out one of the big bounce houses that they have recently acquired for their new business (check them out http://stgeorgefun.com/).  The kids had SO much fun bouncing and sliding!

Jens was a little unsure at first...

But after a few times down with Davis and Brother he was running with the big kids!

His pants were just slowing him down.  Lost his pants and was cruising up by himself in no time! 

The anticipation of Easter morning was high!  I was hoping for a better reaction to an Easter basket from Jens than I got from the Easter hunt.  He did not disappoint.   I guess when the candy is visible, and there are no balls in view, he doesn't mess around.  Just like Christmas, he didn't waste any time and dove right in to the best candy in his basket. 

 

Pierce and Madi were both thrilled with the new books they found in their baskets, and loved the small Lego sets they found hidden inside eggs.  Glad that Easter Bunny has a good mind for reading!  

Sweet kids!

After all the excitement we enjoyed breakfast, except for Madi who started not feeling well.  I was a little worried that she wouldn't eat and she hadn't even had any candy so I knew it wasn't a sugar induced tummy ache.  After church Madi still wasn't feeling good and started throwing up that afternoon.  I felt so bad, poor girl didn't get to enjoy a single piece of Easter candy.  I was hoping it was just going to be a 24 hour bug, but no such luck this time.  Rather the next 10 days were some level of awful each day.  Vomit, diarrhea, our first trip to the Emergency Room, and the worst "flu" sickness I have ever had in my life.  Yuck, yuck, yuck!  Everyone in the family got sick and everyone was affected differently but it can be summed up as awful.  Awful, awful, awful!   After 3 days of being sick Madi was having such intense pain in the middle of the night I thought something had to be wrong, there was no way a stomach flu would cause her that much pain!  So after several attempts to calm and comfort her in the middle of the night I took her to the ER at 4:00 AM, thinking she probably had appendicitis.  2 hours and $2000 later, no it's "just a bad virus".  After it went through all of us and a no good, very bad week, I was so glad to finally have everyone healthy again!  I had never been that sick with a virus before and it definitely made me appreciate my good health!  It also made me think I for sure, never ever want to get pregnant again, ug!  Too much of a reminder of morning/all day sickness!  Blah!  I wish I could say we've all been healthy since but this week were dealing with strep throat and a yucky croupy virus.  But I wont blog about that.  At least not today.  Madi's 7th birthday is up next! 

In Loving Memory of Amelia Marie Hansen

I had the sweet opportunity to photograph Amelia's viewing and funeral for Ashley and Kurt.  I have never been so nervous about taking any pictures before!  I really wanted to do a beautiful job for them capturing some of the tender moments of this day, but I knew my tears would be flowing freely and I was worried I'd hardly be able to see through my lens.  I did manage to get a few beautiful shots of the day and I'll share some of my favorites that I feel are appropriate for me to share. 

When I first met Ashley, just last summer, she had just moved into our ward and we were assigned to be Visiting Teaching partners.  The first day we met, we went to visit Brooke.  We were having some of the usual get to know you chat and she told us how old her two babies, Amelia and Jet, were.   Amelia was just 1 1/2 and Jet was about 8 months.  I remember specifically thinking to myself, that must have been a whoops, no one in their right mind does that on purpose.  Then she said to Brooke and Me, "and I'm pregnant again actually."  I am sure my mouth about dropped open!  I thought:  this girls is either seriously  CRAZY or seriously AMAZING!  Well, she is AMAZING!  One of the most beautiful and strong women I have ever met. (Literally, I am still geeking out since I found out that before her days of pregnancy Ashley did a FULL IRON MAN!  Are you kidding me?! She told me, "it's just like a long day of exercising."  Ya, that most human beings aren't capable of!   This girl is strong in every way.  I was in complete awe  of her during Amelia's entire viewing and funeral.  It seemed that instead of everyone comforting her, she and Kurt were the ones comforting everyone else.  She has shared some of her thoughts and experiences with me and I know she has been Divinely uplifted and strengthened and I am so grateful for that.  Her faith is rock solid.  I know for sure that Amelia is such a strong little spirit that she was needed on the other side of the veil, she will be there helping her family along through this life, they will feel her love and her presence, she will keep them going when everyday life is hard.  And it will be hard.

During the week of Amelia's passing as Kurt and Ashley were preparing for her funeral I thought often of how grateful I was that Ashley and I had been assigned to be VT partners.  It is one of those moments when you realize how much Heavenly Father really is aware of us, I probably wouldn't have even met her yet if we hadn't been partners, since she had been teaching primary, we don't really see each other at church.  I felt over and over again during that week that Ashley and I were meant to be friends, I felt so strongly that although I have thankfully not lost a child, that because of the losses my family and I have experienced that I could at least relate to her in a way that many people can't, and that I could have a sense of how to help her and support her, I thought she needed me.  The funny thing is, that during that week I kept thinking of how much I wanted to and could help her, but by the end of  Amelia's funeral, all I could think was - she doesn't need me, I need her!  Her great faith, her strength, her goodness, her positive attitude and her gratitude for the goodness of having Amelia on Earth for the time she did, and her sure knowledge of the reality of our Savior's Atonement are extraordinary.  She has been and will always be an inspiration to me.  She was beautiful this day, truly radiant.

These pictures of Jet are my favorite and just melt my heart...

Saying Bye Bye to Sister, breaks my heart

Spring Break & Heart Break

Our Spring Break started off with a great first day and then went down hill from there.  We had a fun park day with a group of friends and the kids had a ball!  Here are a few fun pics (the only pics of the week)...

 Jens thinks he's a big kid now!  This was our first time at the playground since he became a toddler on me, and I was so nervous about how he'd do, I knew the days of sitting in the shade, chatting with friends were over, and I was afraid I'd be having a heart attack the whole time with him on the big playground.  But he did great!  I was still getting stuff out of the car and by the time I got to the sidewalk, I looked up to see him coming down the big slide!  He LOVED the playground!  He also loves being big brother's shadow, especially when there are balls around...

 Pierce, Jens and cute Reese.  Reese is one of my cute Activity Day girls, and she is a sports girl all the way!  A great friend for Pierce.  I love how Jens follows them around, "shooting" the ball, even though the hoop is miles away for him. 

I love this picture.  Madi and her two best friends, Annie and Aubrey.  These girls have so much fun together and play so well together.  It is so fun listening to their fun and games.  Love these toothless smiles, love these girls! 

After our fun day at the park, Jensen came down with croup.  He woke up at midnight Tuesday morning and I immediately knew he had croup.  We have such bad luck with getting sick over school and holiday breaks!  I thought we had over come it, but this school year it seems to be back with Madi getting sick on Christmas Eve and then this, (not to mention the week we've had this week - to come in our Easter post) It was really bad and he struggled through the night, which meant not much sleep for me or him.  I took him to the Dr. first thing in the morning and they gave him a steroid shot.  This took care of the awful strider, and made it easy for him to breathe again, but we were told he was still contagious for 5 days!  So there went our plans for socializing with friends and cousins for the rest of the week!  Bummer for the kids!  Mark, Lisa and Baby Calvin were in town and I was so bummed I didn't get to see them.  The kids were good to play with Jensen outside each day and that perked him up, I am grateful that they are so good to play with him, they are great big brother and sister to him! 

On Wednesday evening I got a text from my friend April, that our friend Ashley's little girl, Amelia, had been life flighted to Primary Children's after being found under the water in her Grandma's swimming pool.  I was shocked, panicked and heartbroken.  Over the next 3 days Amelia lay in a coma, I prayed and pleaded with Heavenly Father to bless Kurt and Ashley with a miracle, to save Amelia.  I know miracles happen everyday and I knew it was possible to have Amelia be saved, but after having lost little Todd, I was so scared in the back of my mind thinking that she would die, it seems there are so many little souls being taking back to our Savior so early in these days.  I felt as I could do nothing but pray, pray for Ashley and Kurt and pray for Amelia.  It felt as though everything else going on in life was so insignificant, how could I think or worry about anything else when Ashley was sitting in the hospital with her baby girl, not knowing if she would survive.  I was pretty much consumed with worry and did nothing for the rest of the week.  I got an email from Ashley on Saturday night letting me know that they had decided to let Amelia go the next morning.  I just sat and cried and cried.  It seemed like too much of a heartbreak to lose such a sweet little girl, just 2 years old.  My heart felt like it was breaking over and over for Ashley.  On Sunday morning Jensen woke up early, I brought him in my bed with me and just held him and hugged him and cried, thinking of Ashley letting her baby girl go that morning.  By Sunday evening I received word that Amelia had passed away.

 I am including the beautifully written and inspiring words from Kurt and Ashley as they updated friends and family of Amelia's situation.  Their faith during this heartbreaking trial is truly inspiring.


Kurt and I aren't the biggest users of face book. We have been updating friends and family of our situation through phone calls and others means. But we wanted to make this post to thank everyone for all the prayers and love that has been sent our way, and to let you all know of our situation.

Tragically we are faced with the reality of having to say goodbye to our sweet Amelia. As you may well know, she was involved in a drowning accident. She was rushed to the hospital and her family gathered round to give her a blessing before she was life flighted to Primary Children's from St George. Being involved in business at the airport, Kurt's dad and brother had the opportunity to help load her and Kurt into the airplane in St George. After arriving at the hospital in SLC Amelia was met by Elder Anderson of the quorum of the twelve apostles. She was given a beautiful blessing by Elder Anderson with her dad and his cousin Tim standing in. The next morning the presidency and latter day twelve apostles meet in the temple and in their prayer circle they prayed for our Amelia. We know 100 % recovery was more then possible, but blinded by the Vail we know not the better good nor the will of our heavenly father.

As the days progressed, which seemed to us more like weeks, we were always faithful that the Lord could grant us a miracle and bring our little girl back. However we understood, and still do, that we do not know everything and have accepted the fact that our way isn't the same as the Lord's way. With that framework in mind we faced each hour holding our girls hand and praying for her recovery.

As each minute slowly passed, and we searched and prayed, we began to feel peace. In the midst of our unspeakable trial we found ourselves calm and collected. We didn't and haven't given up on our Amelia. But we felt the spirit so strongly testifying to us that she was under the Lord's care and a full recovery will be made of body and mind, it will not be here on this earth life now.

Amelia has filled so many and touched so vast with little tender mercies knowing she did not have much more time with her family and friends.

Please remember her with happiness and know she is working hard for her siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandpa, grandmas, Mimi, papa, friends and all those she has meet here on earth and in heaven. She wants us all to return to Amelia and Jesus.

There is a list of tender mercies of the Lord and tender mercies of Amelia that have comforted us, many much too sacred to mention here. We were able to have a small or rather large family pray with siblings and our parents in a room here in the hospital and were able to share some of these with our siblings and their children to help comfort them.

I know these coming days weeks months and years will be difficult for us but we need to remember remember upon this tragedy miracles will never cease, angles directed by Amelia will be assisting in the safe return home of so many.

Thank you for the faith, keep it living.

Amelia's Journey Home

Amelia has never liked being indoors. Unless there are shows and suckers involved and then one of her favorite places to be is what she calls Amelia's House (pronounced Ya-ya's house).

As mentioned in an earlier write up we found ourselves at an unthinkable juncture in life. One in which we had to decide the fate of our little girl. As difficult as one would think it to be, we already knew the answer. Amelia was already free, we were the only ones holding her back at this point. She had already put on her show and cause divided families, long lost friends, and countless others to knock down walls of pride to gather around her and each other so she could teach us all some lessons and share with us some of her spirit.

This morning we took Amelia off the ventilator. There was much that went into this decision both medically and spiritually and I can tell you that we have never been so sure and assured of anything as we were of this. The doctors told us to expect something under an hour of her being able to sustain her own life. They obviously thought this was an ordinary girl. She had others things in mind. Amelia, being miss independent and always her own boss, decided to show us who was really in charge. As Ashley and I held her in our arms during the morning we enjoyed the peaceful presence of the spirit of God and of our girl while cherishing the opportunity we had to hold her (she is not into fuzzy hugs and snuggles. Head bonks and best-friend beeps are more her style). After many hours singing to her and kissing her we began to realize that we were going about this in the wrong way, and Amelia wasn't going to go along with it unless she got hers.

We made the decision to take Amelia to where she, and the rest of us, really wanted to be. To Ya-ya's house! It seemed to be the right thing to do and it turns out that it was. Getting a drowning victim out of the hospital is no easy task. Technically we couldn't take her since all drowning victims are supposed to be examined by the State Medical Examiner according to Utah statute. But with the help of an outstanding staff of not just medical professionals but also compassionate people they made it happen. Strings were pulled and the door was opened to take Amelia outside and get her homeward bound. This is where she wanted to be, not in an ICU room connected to machines. Although those ICU rooms are wonderful places where miracles happen every day, it just wasn't right for our girl and she was letting us know.

After Ash and the nurse got Amelia cleaned up and ready to go in PJ's, I carried her down to the car. Ashley sat in the back holding her little girl and we hit the open road. We drove out of the Salt Lake Valley and down I-15 like we were busting out of jail. Everyone was in a happier place, Amelia included.

Earlier this same day I mentioned we were singing songs to Amelia thinking that we were singing her to sleep, as we continued to peacefully roll down the interstate that role reversed. Ashley was holding Amelia with her little head nestled up against Ashley's neck and her precious arms over Ashley's shoulders, holding on to Mommy. I had the pleasure and privilege of watching this in the rear view mirror. Amelia's labored breathing against Ashley neck was a sacred lullaby for Ash. Soon I saw Ashley sleeping and Amelia peacefully resting on her mother's shoulder. Sometime later, as we continued down the road I could tell Amelia's breathing was getting softer and it started to fade from my ear. At that same time Ashley slowly opened her eyes and looked at Amelia. As Amelia's beautiful face came into Ashley's focus she drew one last breath and let it out in a soft sigh and then lay still in her mother's arms. Ashley and I looked at each other in the rear view and we didn't have to say anything. We both knew that our little girl was leaving the arms of her mother to be embraced in the arms of her Savior. We both smiled at each other and enjoyed the silence and peace that the spirit brings. Amelia was where she wanted to be and after she let her mom know she loved her and sang her to sleep she left us for the eternal world.

Ashley and I have been privileged to know Amelia and to have her in our lives. We will forever be changed from what she has taught us in the short time that we had with her. Amelia is still with us and will continue to teach us. She has changed venues in order to assist us in obtaining salvation and to seize the opportunity to be together again. She is here to help our family make righteous decisions and to comfort us in times of trial. She is our beacon, our light on a hill, to help us maintain direction in times of trouble. When we falter she will be there to give us strength and reason to make the right choice. This seems to be the theme of this tragedy. All who came into contact with Amelia were touched by her irresistible spirit. She made friends out of strangers. And this same little girl has inspired thousands to be better people in order to get where she is now. This is our wish and Amelia's, that all who were affected by this and touched by Amelia would take this tragedy and use it for good. Use her example as a reason to be a better individual so that you too may one day see Amelia be welcomed into the arms of your savior as she has been.

Ash and I have been surprisingly calm and comforted during this time. Never in my life have I felt the hand of God working such miracles. We are devastated to lose our little girl, but this pain is overpowered by the happiness of the gospel of Jesus Christ and by the miracles that Amelia was able to work with her little hands.

Boots & Valentines

This year is slipping by way too quickly and my baby boy is refusing to stay a baby!  Why do they have to grow so darn fast?!  He is saying new words  daily and it is so fun to hear him say new things all the time, and for the words he's been saying for awhile to become more clear.  Like most toddlers he loves shoes and enjoys finding everyone's shoes by the door on in the laundry room and trying them on.  He especially has a fondness for Brother's boots and loves putting them on and clomping around.  The other day Ryan came home and Jens was clomping around in these and he said, "Jens what are you wearing?"  Jensen very enthusiastically replied, "Boots!"  So cute!

Valentine's Day was a fun one this year.  Madi was thrilled to have me help with her class party, I put together these cute "love bug" hats for the kids to make, they were a hit!

She's a pretty cute little love but I think!

I wanted to do something special for the kids and Ryan so while they were at school I cut out a bunch of hearts and wrote their names (and various nicknames) on them, and wrote love notes on the back of each one and taped them up all over the house on walls and doors.  They came home from school and were so excited to see heart all around asking what they were for, they had so much fun looking all around the house to find them all and finding the ones with their names on them.  It will definitely be a new tradition, they loved it!  Jensen was so cute and I got such a kick out of him pointing excitedly and saying "heart!"  He soon realized he could reach a couple of them...

Love him reaching up on his little toes to snap that heart.  Love this boy so much.

We enjoyed having Grandma over to eat dinner with us, decorating our traditional heart sugar cookies, delivering them to a few friends and of course eating them! 

Love these faces! 

Going Wee & Sneaking a Taste

January was a slow month around here, and really it was nice.  We didn't have much going on and after such a busy fall photography season and Christmas, it was nice to just be home and try to get back into a semi-decent house cleaning routine again.  Jensen has been oh so adorable and such a little stinker lately!  He has started with the full blown tantrums when he doesn't get what he wants, or if I dare disrupt his play time with silly things like putting pajamas on!  Arching his back and nearly diving out of my arms, throwing himself to the floor to cry, all that fun stuff.  Heaven help me.  But when he is not throwing a complete fit, he is the cutest little thing and just keeps me laughing.  It's a very good thing he completely melts me when he's happy, keeps me from  losing my mind when he's not.  His absolute favorite thing is outside.  He love, loves, LOVES playing outside!  If you are in the neighborhood and here him crying like he's being tortured, don't worry, I'm not actually beating him, just bringing him inside.  Here are a couple of my favorite shots from January, here he is going "wee".  He was so cute as soon as I got the camera out he started blowing me kisses, he's quite a good little kiss blower I must say.  

It has been really fun to watch him start to figure things out, one thing he know for sure, is that when he hears mom's mixer going that means "treat" and he comes running for a "taste"!  Last week I made cupcakes for my Activity Day girls, he had come over to see what I was making and I had shown him what I was mixing up.  He went  into the pantry, and I didn't think anything of it, he plays in there a lot, he came out a minute later with a package of napkins, he had a great plan in mind...

As soon as I realized what he was doing with those napkins I dropped my  measuring cup and grabbed my camera, I could not believe he was figuring out a way to reach up and sneak a little taste with a package of napkins!  What a smart little stinker.  He is definitely his Daddy's boy, nothing stands in the way of him and a good treat!